Other Ways to Support Victims

• Let the victim use your phone to call the Hubbard House Hotline, in case their partner is monitoring their phone.
• Let the victim use your computer to do research about domestic violence and resources. Their abuser could have spyware on their computer, so using yours is a safer option.
• Offer to let the victim leave some important documents, clothing, and similar items with you, as part of their safety plan.
• Help the victim save money for safe housing or other needs they will have after leaving the relationship, by helping them set up a bank account or holding cash for them.
• If the victim has a disability or is Deaf, help them secure back-ups for any assistive devices and/or information on critical resources. For example, can you store a spare walker or cane for them? Can you keep a copy of any prescriptions they need? Can you provide them information about interpreter services available through Hubbard House?
• Develop one or more specific code words with the victim to let you know that they need your help. A code word should be something that can reasonably fit into conversation and has a specific meaning. You may have multiple code words. For example:
  • “How is the cat doing?” means “I need you to call the police.” If you don’t have a cat, the victim wouldn’t be asking you about it, so it’s a good code word phrase. If you do have a cat, the code word could be “How is the dog doing”, or something similar.
  • “I thought I was having Thai food for dinner, but we had something else.” means “Please send a taxi to the house so I can leave.”
  • “Your lawn looks great.” means “The kids are coming to your house right now because it’s not safe for them to be home.” This is best used with a close neighbor.

While you may also consider offering your home to the victim if they need to leave the relationship, please think carefully about whether this is the safest option. Leaving an abusive relationship can be a very dangerous time for the victim. If the abuser knows the victim would come to you for help, and if that person knows where you live, then the victim may not be safe, and you may be in harm’s way as well. Hubbard House’s shelter is a confidential location that can be a safe place for the victim.